Alluring Alarm
by Toxi
Summary: SealandxLatvia. After Finland encourages Sealand to make friends with other nations, Latvia and Sealand become regulars at each others' houses. Papa Sweden senses this is more than just friendship. Russia has decided that he wants Latvia back. LAST UPDATE
1. Acceptance

Hi! This is my 3rd attempt at writing a fan fic! I know I'm not very good, but I sort of try. = 3 = I adore SealandxLatvia, so this is my first time writing a fic about them! Please give me ideas, feedback, and R&R! ^ - ^

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There's this other country that likes to follow me sometimes. I don't really mind it, but it'd be nice if he talked to me a little more. He usually just stands there and quivers. His name is Raivis, but everyone knows him as Latvia.

I don't really know how he became my friend, but I guess he was just one of the only people that recognized me as a country. Not even my own jerk-of-a-brother accepted me! I was just "old territory" to him, left behind after WWII. It's pretty sad, but I'm able to get through it! No one can stop Sealand!!

"See'lind," My papa, Sweden, said to me, placing a hand on my head. "Time 'fa dinna'." He readjusted his rectangular glasses with a palm and waited for my response. My papa has a pretty low voice, and looks kind of scary, but he's nice. I agreed, showing my excitement with a loud call. I loved Finland's cooking. Some called it bland, but I liked it. Technically, I had two dads, but only one of them really wanted to be called a parent. It's difficult… Finland didn't want to be called "Mama", either, so I just decided to call him Finland, and he agreed with that.

I scurried on over to the dinner table, sitting in my little chair. Our white, fluffy puppy, Hana-Tamago, was jumping and flailing barking and whimpering for any table scraps. "Calm down!" Finland smiled and laughed a bit, finding it difficult to scold our family pet. "I'll get your food in a minute, this is ours."

I knelt down a bit to pet Hana's fluffy white head. Hana finally calmed down, and sat near my feet, tail wagging frantically. Finland turned around with two plates of pickled herring with little potatoes on the side. Of course, there were other things he prepared that were also on the plate, but the main course was pickled herring. My old home is super close to my jerk-brother, England, so I'm very accustomed to eating English food. When Sweden adopted me, I hardly knew anything about different cultures of food at all! It's a good thing that there are some slight similarities between England's cooking, and Finland's cooking, although, Finland's cooking is far better than my jerk-brother's.

"Yay!" I cried, picking up my fork in my right hand to eat the potatoes with. Finland passed the other plate to my papa, who smiled gently. Papa took the plate from him and held his hand for a brief moment. Gah! My parents are so lovey-dovey; it makes things really awkward at times.

"I'll be right back," Finland said to my papa, holding up his finger. "I just have to go and feed Hana." He scurried out of the kitchen and into some other part of the house that they shared (and me too). It was quiet now as I stared at the food on my plate. I was glad that Finland didn't serve pea soup today. It reminded me of England's mushy peas, which I also didn't like. I guess I just don't like peas in soup at all. Maybe I just don't like peas. I don't really know why, though. I looked up when I felt Papa's eyes on me. He clasped his hands together and stared at me, his glasses reflecting a little glare from the sunlight on his right side. I blinked back at him. He looked like he had something to say to me, but I wasn't really sure if he did or not. Finland told me that Papa was usually very quiet. I knew he was my papa, but it still was a bit unnerving to just stare back at him. He wasn't even blinking. Where was Finland? What was taking him so long?

"I hurd ya met La'via ta'day." He said after sometime. Even when he was dead serious, to someone who wasn't used to his extreme accent, they might find themselves cracking up a bit. I remember how ridiculous it sounded when I first arrived at his house. At first, I didn't even know if he was speaking regular sentences.

I snapped back and nodded once, "Uh-huh, I did." I replied, "He tried to stab me with a flower…what a weirdo."

Papa raised a brow, but didn't say anything. Finally, Finland came back with a cheery smile on his face, like always. He was about to sit down at our table, when he shot up, "Oh! I nearly forgot my own plate." He laughed lightly, walking towards the sink to pick up his own plate of food and set it down on the table. I glanced down. Oh right. This is his favorite tablecloth! It was white with light blue embroidery and formed the same pattern of the national flag of Finland in the corners. Eep! I better not mess it up or Papa will scold me. I don't want that. He'll put me in a box!

Papa and Finland sat across from each other, and I sat at the end of the table. I almost felt a little smaller. But I'm so _short_ already… We all ate dinner peacefully. Finland seemed to be in a very cheerful mood recently, I don't really know why, though. Maybe it was because it was snowing outside. He loved the snow. When I still lived at my old house, I never saw snow. Just the ocean. Now that I thought about it, it was a little odd for snow to show up so late in the first half of the year. Maybe that's why he was so happy. Finland tided up all of the plates, I helped put the silverware in the sink. Finland gave me a sweet bun for helping, and I ran off with it happily, looking for Hana-Tamago.

"Y—your name's Peter…right?" Latvia asked me, trying to make his weak voice a little louder.

I turned around to look at him. He wasn't shaking as much, but his hands were tightly closed. I nodded, "Yep, it is. Or you can just call me Sealand. It's okay. Everyone calls me that—even my parents." I smiled, he looked sort of scared. I wondered why.

"But…it's okay i—if I call you that, right?" He asked timidly, taking a step towards me.

"Yeah!" I smiled back at him, "Of course it is."

"Oh," He sighed a little sigh of relief. "Uhm," He started again, averting his eyes from mine. "Sorry about the flower thing from a few days ago. I didn't mean to."

"It's okay!" I smiled, "It was kind of ridiculous, actually." I let out a giggle.

"R—really?" Latvia replied in question, letting out a small laugh of his own.

Despite his smile and his laugh, he still looked worried. His upturned eyebrows and hesitant behavior told me so. "Latvia…" I paused, tiling my head to try to get a better look at his facial expression. "Is anything wrong?"

For a moment, he looked surprised. He then relaxed slightly. I was over at his house, just because he had invited me. Finland encouraged me to be friends with other nations, and having personally known Latvia, he urged me to be friends with another nation. It seemed that Latvia would return my friendship. He paused for a moment, looking as though he had something very important to say, but didn't know how to go about saying it. "I think…" He started, "I think Russia is trying to get me back."

Hmm…Russia…Russia…I had only been introduced to a world meeting only a few days ago. No one really noticed me, so I really know anyone else either, except for my jerk-brother England, and my parents, Sweden and Finland. "Who's Russia?" I asked, feeling pretty stupid for not knowing. OH RIGHT. I yelled at myself. "He's the really big guy with the scarf, right!?" I asked, probably shouting at Latvia louder than I should have. I wasn't thinking.

Latvia nodded timidly, "Yes…that's him. With most of the surrounding countries, Russia has taken over them countless times…and the countries usually break free and have their independence…but we're so small that we usually end up becoming Russia's property again." He looked dismal, shrinking in his seat. "I don't want to be a part of Russia anymore…I want to remain an independent country."

"I'll fight with you!" I shouted with joy, "My house is filled with weapons." Latvia looked a little shocked. "Back when there was a war, that's all I was good for, just keeping weapons." I smiled. "Plus!" I added, making a fist in the air, "I've got a rocket punch!"

Latvia smiled faintly at me, stifling a quiet sigh. "We're friends now…right?" He asked me calmly.

I nodded vigorously, "Sure. Finland wants me to make lots of friends, so you can be my first friend!"

Latvia looked surprised, "Y—you mean…you haven't made any other friends besides me?" He pointed to himself in disbelief.

"Ehe, not really…" I muttered, trying to hide my embarrassment. Latvia had friends like Estonia and Lithuania, and my Papa. Of course, I knew countries, like my jerk-brother, but I didn't consider him a friend. He didn't even consider me to be a country! How could I treat him like a friend if he just thought of me as an old war fort?

Latvia smiled genuinely, "I'm glad I get to be your first friend. I guess you were just so far away from everyone…"

"But I'll make sure everyone knows my name now!" I smirked confidently, "I'm Sealand!

Latvia's smile was soft. He didn't look like such a nervous wreck now. I liked him better this way. "I hope we can be really good friends." He said calmly, violet eyes almost glowing.

"Me too!" I chirped.


	2. Notification

Sorry about my spelling errors, everyone! _ lll Sometimes I type too fast to notice them. And because they're only slight errors (sometimes), when I reread them, my brain doesn't notice them. ^ ^lll so thank you for using context clues! I really do enjoy writing this. 3

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I stood outside a somewhat rustic-looking house, right in front of the door. It was a reddish-colored house with an old mahogany door. There were some dents and scratches in the door, I noticed. They looked like they were made forcefully, as though from some sort of impact. I could only imagine what had made them as I readied my hand to knock a few times on his door. Without really acknowledging my own strength, I managed to pound loudly several times. There wasn't a doorbell, so I guess I couldn't get any louder. "Open up! Open up! It's me! It's me!" I hollered loudly, waiting for him to open up his door.

I stopped pounding when I heard some scrambling around coming from somewhere inside the house. I heard something crash, and loud mutterings, and so then I had to wait a while. I knew he had heard me, I bet the other Baltics heard me too…After what seemed like a small forever, I heard the door click, and it creaked open slowly, revealing the owner of the house. There was my friend Raivis, looking flustered and distressed. "P—Peter!" He sputtered, obviously surprised to see me. "W—what're…you doing here?" He looked around suspiciously, hiding behind the door a bit.

"Hi Raivis!" I chirped, then gave him a confused look. "W—what do you mean?" I asked him, then let out a ridiculous laugh. "Can't I come over to my best friend's house?" I gave him a silly look, tilting my head slightly.

I saw Raivis pause, biting his lower lip for a brief moment, and yanked on my arm and pulled me inside quickly, slamming the door so fast I thought he was going to hit me. "Raivis!" I yelled back at him. He paused, and looked apologetic. "Sorry…" He muttered faintly. "I just…" He started, averting his gaze. His lavender eyes darted back to me and looked at me seriously. "I d—don't want Russia to find y—you."

I blinked back.

"If Russia finds you…!" He started, quivering slightly. "I d—don't know what I'd do!"

I smiled reassuringly at him, "Raivis, don't worry! I'll be fine, I can take Russia!" I laughed triumphantly. No one could beat me, not even my jerk-of-a-brother, Arthur.

Raivis pursed his lips, intertwining his fingers. "P—Peter…" He started, still nervous and fluttery. "You don't…understand what Russia can do…"

"But that doesn't matter, right?" I laughed, "'Cause we'll never need to worry about Russia anymore!"

Raivis continued shaking, bowing his head a little bit. What was his problem? Papa and Finland told me all about what had happened with Russia, and told me about all of the fights and conflicts… But Russia seemed to be okay now.

"It _does_ matter…" Raivis hesitated. "It matters a lot…to me…"

"R—Raivis…?" I called his name. He was sure getting worked up for nothing. He was on the verge of tears, just quivering, clasping his hands together.

"It matters a lot to me…!" He inhaled deeply, "Because I…Because I love you!" He yelled forcefully. He looked up at me, almost scared of what he said. He wore an expression that looked as though I had threatened him. His lips started trembling and he started to cry silently. He buried his face in his hands and leaned against a wall. "I—I'm…sorry…I just…"

I almost froze. He loved me? Since when? I thought we were just friends. That's…all I had thought we were. But he just seemed so nervous around me. More nervous than anyone else. Now, I guess I knew why. I wasn't expecting this, though. So…he loved me?

"Raivis…?" I blinked, walking towards him as he pulled away a little. "Raivis." I said a little more forcefully, getting his attention to see him pull away his hands and expose his teary face. His cheeks were a vivid red hue and he was breathing rather quickly. He had sunk to the floor, and I crouched down so we were about level now. "What do you mean you love me? Why didn't you say anything to me earlier?"

"I was scared," He said as I had held his hand in support. Poor Raivis always seemed to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown. "I was…s—so scared that you'd…reject me…" He looked up, "Are you…?" He squeaked in a tinier, defenseless voice.

I paused, thinking about this a little. He was my closest friend, and he already thought of me as more than a friend. So…then it was just me that was holding us back. I already knew him, it wasn't like he was a complete stranger telling me that he loved me. Without thinking of my parents, I nodded. "Okay, then," I smiled, "I'll love you too."

Then I was compelled by some other instinct to lean forward and kiss him. Our lips gently met for a short moment and then I pulled away, leaving Raivis speechless. His eyes were wide. Though I didn't regret it, I questioned why I kissed him. Did…I love him too? I pushed it out of my mind and helped pull him up, "You don't need to worry about little things, okay?" I told him, smirking strangely.

"Y—you're not going to disagree with me…or anything?" He sputtered, looking down at me a bit, he was a few inches taller than me. "Y—you're not joking?"

"I just kissed you!" I smiled and laughed, "What kind of joke would that be?"

Raivis's lips curled up into a smile as he wiped away his tears. "I'm just…r—really happy…T—that's all…"

So I spent a few more hours at Raivis's house, talking about all sorts of random things and he'd listen to me, smiling strangely. He smiled like Papa did whenever Finland was talking. Was that…a kind of smile that meant love? I wondered…We played stupid little games that I liked, like checkers (I won every game) and we started a jigsaw puzzle at his house. Our hands touched several times when we were putting pieces together. It was…a little weird. But it was fun, and after that, I decided that I should probably go home.

I walked towards the mahogany door that I used before and Raivis followed me. He wore a cute little curved smile and clasped his hands together. "P—Peter…" He told me, taking a few steps towards me before I would leave. "If you're going to come to my house…please tell me. I don't want you to run into Russia. Ever. Don't make me…w—worry about you!" He let out a smiled laugh and smiled.

I smiled genuinely and let out a small laugh through my nose, "Don't worry, Raivis. I'll be fine. Papa's house isn't far."

"This isn't right…" He muttered under his breath, looking away.

"What do you mean?" I asked him, I never understood his train of thought. He was being so weird about this whole thing that most of the time he didn't make sense to me.

"I think…I… I'm making a mistake, Peter…" He muttered, on the verge of tears again.

"Stop worrying!" I yelled at him, "Relax! I'll be back soon, so you don't have to worry!"

He nodded, and waved at me, looking weaker than usual. I guess he was mentally exhausted or something. I waved back and flew out the door. I looked around, glancing back at Raivis's house as I started to walk in the direction of Papa's house. It was a bit darker outside than I had hoped for, and I guessed that Finland would scold me for staying out too late. I mentally sighed as I took in the details of Raivis's tiny rich red-colored house. Most of it seemed to be in a nice condition, he had a tiny little flower garden in the front. And his roof had a chimney, with a little vertical cloud of smoke billowing out of it. I hadn't noticed he had a fireplace. Maybe I should look for it and we could roast marshmallows some time! That'd be fun.

Latvia's house was sort of a snug cottage, but then again, only he lived there. My Papa's house was really big, but then again, four of us (including Hana-Tamago) lived there. So it had to be big. As I walked away from it, I somehow felt saddened that Raivis's house looked like it needed a little repair.

"Oh…? Who is this?" A strange voice called to me, and I reflexively turned around.

Behind me was a very tall man with light creamy-blond hair that hid his eyes slightly. His lips were pulled up into a peculiar smile as he loomed above me with both hands behind his back. I wracked my brains trying to remember who this was. I think it…It's Russia! "Who are you, little nation?" He asked me, seeing as I had been spacey.

"I…uh…I'm Sealand." I said, not daring to give away my real name. I wondered if he knew my connection to Arthur, or even my parents. If he didn't even know who I was…I was hoping he'd be clueless.

"Sealand?" He asked, raising his head so I could see both of his blazing amethyst eyes. "Huh, never heard of you…Well, I would advise you to stay away from my Latvia because he does not belong to you."

_His _Lativa?

"Latvia's an independent country, Russia! He can do whatever he feels like!" I yelled back, recoiling as soon as I had finished my sentence.

He looked down at me, glaring maliciously. His eyes like some sort of purple headlights. "He won't be very independent for very long, little nation. If you want your independence, I suggest you stay away from him before I get angry." He lost his dark tone of voice and smiled. He straightened his spine and walked away from me. I turned around to follow him with my eyes, and noticed that what he was holding behind his back was a pipe. What a strange thing to carry around with someone… But…I noticed it had bloodstains on it was well. From who? Why?

Rather scared, I started to run faster towards Papa's house. I would never have to tell anyone about meeting Russia. Raivis would cry, and Papa would be angry. I ran as fast as I could, pushing the door open and heaved out a huge sigh as I slumped in front of the door, back to it. I heard the thunderous scampering of little dog nails against the wood floors and saw the white fuzzball, Hana-Tamago. "Hi, Hana!" I breathed, and ruffled the dog's fluffy fur. I saw Finland poke his head out of the kitchen and look at me strangely. "Sealand?" He asked, "What're you doing home so late!? We were worried about you! You almost missed dinner!"

"Ahah…I'm sorry," I pleaded, getting up off the floor and wandered in meekly, hanging my head so I wouldn't have to make eye contact with Papa. Finland was tidying up in the kitchen, and I saw my plate of food getting cold because I wasn't there to eat it earlier. Papa was sitting at the other end of the table, looking quite angry. But, maybe he was just thinking. Finland went away to go clean something else or do something that a housewife would do, and Hana-Tamago followed him. I scooted in to my seat, Papa looking up at me.

"Wha happ'ind at Latvia's house?" He asked me seriously. Did he already know? Or…am I just that stupid.

"I…uhm," I hesitated, trying to full my mouth full with rye bread so I wouldn't have to talk. Papa said nothing, waiting for me to finish. He'd wait for me to finish my entire plate of food. I didn't like it when he was like this…But I guess I'd have to answer him or he'd keep glaring like that. How was I going to tell him? 'Oh yeah, by the way, Latvia said he loved me. That okay with you guys?' Somehow, I didn't think that would be the best approach. Maybe, instead of giving myself away, I'd wait for him to ask me questions. Yes or no questions were always easier to answer. But…He didn't seem to be saying anything.

"Yu'n Latvia ah fre'ns, co'rect?" He asked me in his deep, intimidating voice.

"Uh, yeah," I nodded sheepishly. Why did he have to use such a scary tone!? Why wouldn't he ask me normally…?

"An' you're still fre'ns, right?"

"Yeah," I nodded, "We're still friends." And the moment where I had kissed Raivis popped into my head. Gah! I shouldn't be thinking of that right now…Though I don't remember his skin ever feeling that soft before…

"B't why were ya gone so long?" He slightly narrowed his eyes at me.

Should I tell him? Or should I hide it? I was faced with a decision. How would I make it?

"Because we were talking," I admitted truthfully. Because, technically we did talk quite a lot. Well, really it me doing all of the talking, but whatever.

I saw Papa eased back in his chair a little. "Glad ya made'a fren'." He smiled slightly and walked out of the kitchen, leaving me to sit at our small table to finish my half-eaten dinner. So…I had done it. He didn't find out.

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Personally, I think this chapter sort of sucks. OTL What do you guys think? PLEASE READ AND REVIEW *sparkle eyes* :D


	3. Desperation

H'okay guys. Thank you for your reviews! C: I have a few ideas here and there, but I would very much like suggestions. = 3 = This one will probably be very short (most likely no more than 8 chapters) or something like that. I know that after this, I will be writing a NorwayxSealand fic. As cracktastic as it sounds, it might actually work. 3

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I breathed out slowly, trying to cool the hot tea in the small china cup. I sipped it quietly, sitting near the fireplace, in one of the three chairs surrounding it. Now that I thought about it, I really didn't need so many chairs around the place. There's only one person that lives here—me, and whenever I do get visitors, it's only Peter…Or Ivan… But instead of an emptier room, vacant chairs seemed lonelier to me. Why did my house seem so tiny now? It didn't used to be that way. I knew my house was a little snug, but I liked it that way. It was perfect for me. But now…My house just seems so tiny. It's not uncomfortable; it just feels different to me.

I tilted my right wrist back and let the piping hot tea pour into my mouth and quickly rush down my throat. I hadn't noticed it was still that hot. "H—Hot!" I cried, burning almost all of my taste buds off and set down the cup back in its saucer, cringing in pain. Why was my tea so hot? I had been trying to get it cool for more than ten minutes. Maybe I just needed more milk, that could be it. I set the cup and saucer on the little table beside me and got up from my seat, walking on top of the many rugs on my floors to the way of the kitchen. I walked around to the fridge, and opened it, pulling out a small glass milk jug.

I felt something behind me. But…I didn't know what it was. There were no apparent signs of there being anything behind me, but I just knew there had to be. Thanks to Russia I had someone picked up a sixth sense that went off whenever I knew something was going to happen. I could feel it right now. It accumulated in my throat, tightening so that it was a little difficult to breathe. Careful of my actions, I set the glass milk jug on the kitchen table and slowly turned around. Maybe I was just imagining things like Peter always said. But I felt my heart sink as I recognized this figure all too well.

It was Ivan. Ivan was here. I didn't know what his message was, but already I knew nothing good would come of it. He leaned against the wall frame, wearing a smile I knew was entirely fake. "La~tvia…" He smiled, easing himself up from the wall frame and started walking towards me. How could I not have heard him come in? I should have! The door was so close to the fire place. I should have been able hear him anywhere in the house. But I didn't. That led me to believe that he might have been hiding, and for some time too. I cowered in response, coiling back and started my immense quivering again. "R—Russ…ia…" I only managed to utter.

Russia smiled at me, placing a gloved hand atop my head. "Oh, Latvia." He smiled, laughing a bit. If I didn't know this demon, I would have thought he was happy, but this expression I knew full well to be anything but happiness. "Latvia," He cooed slowly, brushing his other hand against my cheek. I still shuddered and tried to pull away, but his other hand seized one of my wrists. "Why do you always want to run away from me?" He asked, looking somewhat hurt. But there was no possible way I was going to pity him after what he did to me. All of those horrible, horrible things.

"I…d—don't want to be a—apart of you anym—more, Ivan!" I yelled at him through my stutters.

"Why not?" Russia asked me, tilting his head to the side. Already he towered over me, he was the tallest nation. I felt my voice tighten up, I'm so scared right now. He blinked slowly, facial expression changing to that of a jealous glare. "Is it because of that Sealand I saw yesterday?"

H—he saw Sealand!? Oh God, no, please don't tell me something like that. I felt myself crumble. That was the last thing I was hoping for. I didn't care what Ivan did to me as long as he'd never do anything to Peter. Never Peter. I never wanted anything bad to happen to Peter. But there'd be no way for me to protect him. I can't protect anyone, not even myself. I could I think that our budding relationship would work if I'm always torn apart by Russia. Peter'd never want to keep piecing me back together again. He'd get bored, and find something else to do. Someone else to spend time with. Someone else to love. I'd just end up back on a shelf—Russia's shelf. I'd become his property and I couldn't do anything about it.

Russia smiled victoriously as he saw my terrified expression. "Oh, so it is? Something's going on between you and that little nation? Aha, don't worry, I did you a favor…I warned him. If he's smart, he'll back off and run home." But…Just giving Peter a warning would mean that he'd keep trying. As persistent as he was, Peter was incredibly stubborn. Sometimes he just wouldn't listen! He never thought, he'd just do the first thing that came to mind. I was even more scared now. Peter was going to see if he could take Russia. I knew he couldn't. Russia's too strong. As deluded as he is, that's one of the stupidest things imaginable.

"Forget about that little nation…" Russia whispered in my ear as he pushed me against a wall and brushed his face against my cheek. I utterly loathed this man. I didn't want anything to do with him. Nothing at all, but he just wouldn't go away. Why did he like to torture me like this, the masochist! Why couldn't he just leave me alone? That's all I wanted. Freedom. "I love you, Raivis. What does that mean to you? You're mine, and I'll never let you run away." I could feel his hot breath on my neck, it was disgusting. His voice was whispery and curled around my ears, seeming to echo as my brain perceived his words.

Hot tears started to flow from my tear ducts uncontrollably. "I…hate you…Russia." I whispered in a hoarse voice. I couldn't break free, I couldn't tear away. I couldn't escape him. His grip was too strong and even if I managed to escape his grasp, the rest of him towered over me. "Hate me?" He smiled, still using a provocative whisper. "How could you say something like that after all I've done for you? I took care of you when you were sick. I fed you and made sure you were healthy—"

"But you were killing me, Russia!" I managed to scream. Whenever I screamed, my sentences came out with perfect fluency—no choppiness or sputters. "Y—you m—made me do…horrible…t—things. I had to…d—do w—whatever you…t—told me to…an—and I…I h—hated it. "

Russia looked unimpressed. "Fine then, I'll let you enjoy your happiness temporarily, only to see you fall harder when I come to take you back."

I turned away in disgust. I never wanted to see him again. Ever. I felt his hands release my wrists and he took a few steps back, big boots making loud clopping noises with each movement he made. He gave me one last look before I saw him turn and exit my front door, previous markings courtesy of the last time Russia decided to take me back. He released me for a while, growing bored and decided to toy with Lithuania while he was happy. Now he switched back to me. I really couldn't take it anymore. I was so sick and tired of him.

I slumped down on the floor, back against the wall, face buried in my hands. Where was Peter when I needed him? When I needed his optimism, he was at home. I didn't blame him, I just wanted him to be with me. I cried to myself, shuddering and shaking, feeling horrible that I was so weak and useless all the time. I couldn't go and plead to Peter like this—not with Sweden and Finland at the same house, at least. I wanted him to come over, but I didn't want to endanger him. I wanted to see him so badly, but I knew I was just being selfish. I shouldn't be.

But I wanted to see him, my heart ached. I wanted to run up to him and hug him and kiss him and tell him how much I loved him. Tell him how much I need him. Tell him how much he means to me. Tell him that I appreciate him being around. But…he wouldn't understand, would he? He couldn't fully reciprocate my affections for him. He was too childish to realize how serious I was. He's…too young, but I didn't want to admit that. I didn't want to admit that the one I loved didn't understand me. I knew I was being stupid. I knew I'd regret what I'd done. I just can't make the right decisions.

I cried my heart out, waiting for some sort of answer to come to me. There's not much I hold dear to me, and if I lose any of those things, I'd just break.

I almost cried myself to sleep (despite it being sometime in the afternoon) when a piercing cry penetrated the air. It was coming from the black rotary phone I kept. It was a little outdated, but I liked it. I forced myself out of my stupor and dashed over to the phone near my bedroom. I desperately wished it was Peter. Who else would call me?

I picked up the phone and cleared my throat, making sure all signs of crying were gone. "H—hello?" I squeaked into the speaker, awaiting a response.

"Raivis!" An all too sought voice called out to me. "Raivis! I'm coming over to you house, okay? I've got something really cool to show you!"

Now I didn't have to be selfish. He was coming here on his own accord. I wouldn't need to beg. I wouldn't need to plead. He'd come here. Though…he didn't know my situation. "O—okay," I smiled softly, doubting he could sense my certain tone.

"I'll be over in a few minutes, kay!? Just wait for me!" He sounded to be in an immense hurry because he didn't wait for me to respond before hanging up. Smiling again, I set the phone down and walked back into the kitchen, putting the milk jug away and trying to tidy up in the least. I didn't want Sealand to think I lived in squalor. Russia had moved and messed up things when he came in (whenever that was). I let out a sigh a few times, devastated that Russia was making a move to take me back, and glad that Peter would be here this time. Aside from slight help from Estonia and Lithuania, I'd be alone. Now I had Peter.

I heard an incessant chorus of pounding sounds on my door followed by an, "Open up! Open up, Raivis!!" So immediately knowing who it was, I scrambled to my feet and leapt for the door, pulling it open and smiled widely. "Hello…P—Peter…" I smiled, my voice much more diminished than it was in my head. I stepped aside for Peter to walk in, holding some sort of action figure.

He held it in both hands, marveling at the small handiwork. "Isn't this cool!?" He beamed, eyes almost shining with glee. "Japan made it for me 'cause I like robots 'n stuff."

"Oh," I let out, inspecting the mecha figure with my eyes. Its base was grey and white, and its arms were red. It had wing-like protrusions that I knew nothing about. It looked interesting, but a little too fantastic for me to get all that curious. But Peter seemed to like it, so essentially, my opinion wouldn't matter to him.

Peter stopped obsessing about his new toy and looked up at me, sky blue eyes too piercing for me to keep my mask up. My throat squeezed tightly, and I started choking up. Tears rolled down my face as Peter looked confused. "Raivis?" He chirped, setting down the toy on a nearby mantle. I hung my head, he's too innocent. I can't—I absolutely can't let anything happen to him. It'd be all my fault. I felt his warm hand touching mine. He…he had accepted me? Or…was this unintentional?

"Raivis, what's wrong?" Peter asked me, walking in closer. "Did I do something?"

Of course you didn't, I wanted to say. You could never do anything that would make me this upset. You could never. I knew I was acting too quickly, but I wrapped my arms around Peter's neck and just cried. I felt his arms slide up my back and he held me tight too.

I couldn't say anything through my sobs. But Peter didn't say anything, either. The talkative, hyper-active and boisterous nation was quiet, just holding me close to him. I loved him.

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Wow. Talk about angst. Poor Latvia. OTL SUGGESTIONS, PLZ. Thanks for reading my crap. 3


	4. Reassurance

Ah, my wifey, JanJan gave me lots of ideas for this fic, so thank you lots!! ^ 3 ^ I really do enjoy writing this, thank you for reading and reviewing~

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Yesterday still stuck in my head. All of it. I couldn't forget it no matter how much I tried. And I tried to. Russia had officially decided that he wanted me to become a part of him again, and I'd have to give up again. I couldn't believe how stupid I am for telling Peter that I loved him. Now he's just going to get hurt because I don't think very far ahead of myself. What could I say to him? I didn't even know how to respond. He had held me so tightly after I had broken down that I didn't know what else to do other than cry. I didn't tell Peter what had happened with Russia. He didn't know why I was crying, but he held me anyway. Without saying anything coherent, Peter actually understood me for that moment.

But I doubted he'd understand me any more than that. My mind kept swimming and my heart kept aching. My only option was to give up and let Russia take me. But I didn't want to resume the lifestyle I had once been horribly accustomed to. Russia would _force_ himself on me, and I couldn't do anything to pull away. I grew used to being abused and violated, only because I hadn't experienced freedom for so long and there was no way to escape. I had to submit or worse would befall me. But one day Russia threw me away. "You aren't the same, Raivis," He told me, amethyst eyes somewhat dull from lack of satisfaction. He let me go, and I tasted freedom. He had been starving me and starving me, and now that I finally ate something, he'd take it away and starve me again.

Now that I had gotten myself into this sort of mess, I knew I had to tell Peter something—anything so he would just stop and listen to himself. He'd go to all the trouble of trying to defeat Russia, just for me!? What a deluded idiot, to believe something like that…But, he was the idiot I loved, and if I wanted nothing bad to happen to him, I had to tell him to go away. I had to tell my support to go away—to leave me. I didn't know how to tell him. I couldn't tell him face-to-face, I'd crumble and he'd just end up holding me like that. His embrace had been so tight I almost thought it wasn't him. I couldn't call him, that wouldn't be very effective. He'd talk over me and try to get me to come over to his house or something silly like that. His parents were strong nations, but I couldn't ask them for help.

I closed my eyes, thinking that a personal letter would be the best way for me to tell Peter what I needed to tell him without me faltering with each step I took. I walked over to the small desk in my bedroom, and rummaged around through my things, looking for a blank piece of paper. I saw a random display of little things scattered all over my desk. A picture with my 'brothers'—Lithuania and Estonia. We were all much younger, and I was hiding behind Estonia. I smiled lightly at the remembrance of that, but pushed it aside as I continued to look for a piece of paper. Pens and pencils were littering my desk, so it wasn't very difficult to select one that I liked. I picked up a black pen and held it tightly between my thumb and index finger, sighing lightly as I found a blank piece of paper and set it before me. I brought the silvery tip of the pen to the paper and started writing, my personality visible through my handwriting—small, curly and squished together.

_Dear Peter, _

_I think I should stop loving you. I can't anymore, because you're going to get hurt if I do. I'm sorry to say this, but you can't understand me, and you're too young to. It's not safe for us, and I don't want Russia to harm you. So in order for you to be safe, I'm going to surrender myself to Russia, and I don't want you trying to save me. You'll only break my heart further if you try. Russia is unstoppable, and I don't want him killing you. He's murderous to little nations, even though I know you're great. _

_Peter, I really, really, really love you, and I always will, but we can't now. I can't. Not with Russia acting like this. I'll wait until he releases me again, it's a vicious cycle, but somewhat predictable. Please wait for me, and think of me, because I do think of you. Quite a lot, actually. I have to stop exactly because I love you. I know you'll be confused, but please try to understand. _

_~ Raivis_

I stared at the letter for a moment. This is what I had to say to him, to the one I loved. Peter Kirkland. Slowly, I folded the letter into three sections with care and looked around for an envelope, which I found after a few minutes of rummaging through old papers and such. It was an old yellowish envelope, and I slid the thin letter into it, sealing it and then faintly pressed my lips to its back, praying that Peter would understand. He's too headstrong, but I've fallen in love with him, so I have to accept him for all he is.

I imagined myself delivering this letter to Sweden's house, having his wife open the door and greet me with a smile like he always did. I could almost hear him say, "Oh, Latvia, are you here for Peter?" I imagined handing him the letter, and then leaving, only to go and surrender myself to Russia the next day. That's how I wanted this to work, but in the pit of my stomach I knew it wouldn't go that smoothly. Something would have to happen to distort my plan, like always. I heaved myself out of my seat, mentally prepared to give this letter to either Sweden or Finland, but not to Peter directly, despite his name being on the front. I didn't want to give it to him, or I'd shatter and give in. I didn't want to. I didn't want to give in after I had mentally prepared myself to give up for now. It was like waving beer in front of a recovering alcoholic, of course they'd go for it if you waved in their face.

I wandered out of my room and down the hall, making sure everything in my house was as it should be before I left. I gripped the enveloped tightly as I turned the knob to the door and almost walked out, but didn't quite make it as there was something blocking the way. This person was a little shorter than me, and I looked down. It was Peter. He was making a motion that looked as though he had attempted to knock on my door before I opened it. "P—Peter!?" I sputtered in a hoarse tone, quickly hiding the letter behind my back so he couldn't quite see it.

"Hello, Raivis~" He called to me with a cheery smile. "The weather's really nice outside, it's really sunny. You should come out with me, it's not good for you to be shut up in your house all day."

I said nothing and lowered my head, averting my gaze, trying to hold all of my emotions in. I put both hands behind my back, taking a few cowardly steps away from Peter. He looked at me strangely, "Hey, Raivis," He asked me, leaning in. "What's wrong? You okay?"

Would it be good to give him the letter already, or should I just give it to his parents later? I didn't know what to do. Each side had its own consequences. "W—what're…y—you doing here…P—Peter?" I asked him quietly, glancing at him for only a moment.

"I wanted to see you!" He smiled proudly, "We like each other a lot right now, don't we?" I didn't say anything, but he continued talking. "So it's only natural that I'd want to see you!"

I wanted to tell him to go away, but I didn't. So, in my silence, Peter walked in and closed the door behind him, smiling like he always did. "What's that behind your back, Raivis?" He asked me, trying to peek behind me. "Is it a surprise or something?"

I tried to dart away, to move away so he couldn't get it from me. I backed up, shaking my head. "What is it?" Peter chirped, sounding excited. He, apparently, wasn't very good at reading faces. I clamped onto the letter, but Peter leaned quicker and snatched it away from me. I raised my hands in order to tell him to stop, but he didn't. He looked at the front of the letter, glancing at me for a moment. "So it _is_ for me!" He smiled triumphantly, not noticing how serious I was. I felt myself let go. He was going to read it anyway. At least, I thought, with him here, I could try to explain if he needed me to. He quickly tore open the letter and set the envelope on a nearby ledge and folded the paper so it was back to its original size.

He heaved small sigh as he started reading, his eyes getting slower and slower as he raced through the paragraphs I had written, meant specifically for him. He let his hands drop at his sides, still holding the letter he looked hurt, and blinked a few times. "W—what do you mean?" He asked me.

Strangely, I didn't feel myself breaking this time. I didn't burst out in tears like I normally would. I still backed away from Peter; I knew I had to stop. I had to stop before it went too far. I _can't_ love him anymore, I told myself. "But I…" Peter said as he took a few steps towards me. My heart palpitated strangely. Stop, I wanted to tell him. Stop walking towards me.

"Don't say something like this…" Peter said in a defeated tone, sounding genuinely hurt. "Don't tell me 'you can't understand' and stuff like that, 'cause I _can_." He got close enough to me that I could feel his breath. I had backed up into a wall, and I was in a position where I could only escape one direction. "Stop being so insecure all the time, please…" He begged me, leaning in closer. "Don't give up just yet 'cause you're scared. We're a team. Don't go running away 'cause you don't think you're good enough. I like you a lot, Raivis. So stop doubting everything and stop giving up."

I almost thought he was going to kiss me, but he got off his tip toes and wandered off, folding the letter back and wedged it carefully into a pocket. "Hey, where's your phone?" He asked, raising a thick brow.

My phone? What did he want that for? "Uhm…" I hesitated, "It's in my room…why d—do you…want to u—use it?" I pointed down the end of the hall where the door to my room was half-open. From here, my room looked like a dark abyss, but I never really liked a whole lot of light in my room.

"I'll go back home in a sec, but I want to call to see if I can stay here a night, that okay?" He smiled, walking off in the direction of my room. I followed him slightly. I almost wanted to ask why, but he started talking again, "You obviously need some reassurance, ha ha! I bet you get real lonely, being here all by yourself. I want to stay just so you can feel safe." He smiled back at me as he opened the door and walked into my room, leaving me to blink and pause for a moment as he started to dial the numbers for home.

Reassurance? He was going to protect me? Stay with me so I wouldn't feel lonely? My hearted warmed at the thought of it. He wasn't listening to me, but he was still caring for me in his own way. With Russia getting angry again, I knew I'd feel much safer with someone familiar and trustworthy like Peter around. He was right, I was lonely, but I was too scared to tell anyone. I waited outside the door, listening to his conversation without any ill will intended.

"Ah, Finland?" Peter called into the black rotary phone, "Can I have a sleepover at Raivis's tonight? He's depressed and I want to cheer him up." He paused, listening to Finland's reply. The phone was too dense and old for the other speaker to be heard, but I waited for Peter's response. "I can!?" He cried with joy, "…Yes yes, I'll remember to brush my teeth…I'll come home to get some stuff in like five minutes. Bye!" He smiled giddily as he walked out of my room, walking strangely. "Ahahah~" He laughed, "I'll be back in a bit, okay? Don't get too lonely without me!" He smirked and raced out the door, more speedy than I thought he should be in a house…

But he had gotten the a-ok. He was going to watch over me tonight, just as a symbol of wanting me to be happy and wanting to protect me. I walked over to the living room to wait for him and sat patiently in my favorite brick-red chair. The chair was huge on me, but I liked to curl up and take naps in it. I closed my eyes for a moment, waiting for Peter to return. The door thundered open after a few minutes and I heard him heave a huge sigh, "I'm back!!" He called loudly, walking into the living room with a huge backpack strapped to his back. He took it off and set it on the floor, which caused a loud _thud._ "Aha!" He smiled, "Now you won't have to get all worried in the night, 'cause no one'll bug you when _I'm_ here." He smiled, and came wandering over to me.

He sat on the puffy arm of my favorite chair, remarking, "Ooh! This chair's really poofy." He eyed the fireplace, which was smoldering a bit. "Hey," He jabbed me with the tip of his elbow, "Can we roast marshmallows or something on that fire? There's not one like that at my house."

"Uh," I paused, blinking a bit by his sudden enthusiasm for everything he saw. "S—sure…I guess…" I muttered.

Peter smiled widely, kicking his feet playfully off of the side of the chair. "I like your house a lot, Raivis. It's really cool. There're lots of old and neat stuff in here."

He turned his torso to face me, smiling sweetly. Maybe _I'm _the one who's bad at reading expressions. Or, at least intentions. Under his boisterous, excited shell, Peter was a boy who genuinely cared about people he loved—even if that someone was a worrying crybaby like me. He stared at me for a moment, and feeling compelled that he acknowledge my feelings, I leaned in closer and kissed him lightly.

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DAW. This is super fun to write. OMG. Thank you so much Kittyscorponok for your sleepover idea. I'm totally using it, can you tell? ;D


	5. Confrontation

Lol yey, people like my writings. That makes me much happy. I shall continue with this 'cause my brain is a'sploding.

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We were both sleeping on the floor, sharing heaps of blankets. The room was still pretty dark, but I could see the outlines of his sleeping face. He was breathing faintly, and in the stillness of the night, I could hear him clearly. He had a quiet, deep breath that showed he was truly calm. His eyes were closed and he was sleeping in an odd position, lying on his back but curling to one side. I smiled to myself. I hadn't fallen asleep yet because I had promised to wait until he did. "Don't worry, Raivis," I told him when we first got snuggled in. "I'll wait for you to fall asleep. You'll feel better that way." I had grinned, very sure of myself.

Raivis had mumbled something like, "Y—you…s—sure?"

But I had forced him to relax, and he eventually fell asleep. I tried to look out of his bedroom window from where I was sitting, but a thick curtain was covering it, and only a small corner was visible. It was still really dark out, the glimmering of the stars and the moon were the only sources of light. I sat back down and heaved a little sigh through my nose, glancing at Raivis's profile. When he was sleeping, he looked far more confident. He also looked older, somehow, more mature or something like that. He's three years older than me, I told myself. Of course he'd look older. "G'night," I muttered to him and kissed his cheek before I lied down next to him. I closed my eyes, thinking of how happy I was.

Then I heard something. I opened my eyes reflexively; I was a pretty light sleeper. I looked around in the darkness, but saw nothing. I knew something—or someone—had to be here. I could feel them, I could sense a presence of some sort. Raivis was still peacefully asleep beside me, sleeping as though he hadn't heard what I did. I blinked patiently, waiting for the sound to come again. _Dnn dnn dnn. _There it was! Footsteps. Footsteps, somewhere in Raivis's house. "Raivis!" I nudged him, whispering loudly. "Raivis, wake up, wake up…! I heard footsteps!"

Raivis grumbled groggily and fluttered his clear eyes open. He didn't hear me, but I saw he was awake now. He blinked a few times, the sound of the footsteps quieting down. I couldn't hear them anymore. Maybe whoever was walking around noticed that there were voices. "Raivis…!" I said in a hoarse whisper, "There's someone in your house, I hear footsteps!"

Raivis immediately responded when he heard me that time. His dilated pupils, grown used to the darkness, shrank to almost nothing. He quickly sat up, leaning towards me timidly. "Y—you…s—sure?" He squeaked quietly, ducking back behind me. I placed my hand on top of his, trying to be reassuring and quiet at the same time. Maybe the footsteps had just been my imagination? I didn't hear them now. We waited, Raivis clinging onto me. _Dnn dnn dnn_. The footsteps again. Raivis let out a small yelp, and I tried to sound intimidating as I yelled, "Who's there!?"

The door to Raivis's room swung open, almost on cue, as a giant figure loomed in the doorway. "Oh? What's this?" He smiled, tilting his head to one side. "The little nation is sleeping with my Latvia?" He laughed a bit, taking a step into the room, and the moonlight that seeped through the small gap in the curtain visibly lit up his face. His skin appeared blue in the light of the moon. His smile was warped and distorted, seeming too big for it to be humanly possible. "It'd be safer if you let him go." I knew that voice. It was Russia. Who was he to just come barging into Raivis's house in the middle of the night?! Why couldn't he just leave Latvia alone!? He was really starting to piss me off now.

"Leave him alone!" I yelled fiercely, jumping to my feet. I heard Raivis faintly cry my name, but he mumbled it, and decided he should be quiet.

Russia laughed lightly, smiling eerily again, "But you've taken something from me. I want it back, you thief. You took my favorite toy away."

"Raivis isn't a toy!" I yelled back defiantly. "He's his own independent nation, and he should live how he chooses!"

Russia's eyes dimmed. "Do you want me to kill Finland, because I can do that too. He used to be my toy long, _long_ ago, little nation." I froze. So Raivis and I weren't good enough to threaten, he had to bring Finland into this as well? I really detested this country. He was so selfish. I gritted my teeth and balled up my fists, glaring at him as intensely as I could manage. Russia smiled, "Oh, that got a reaction out of you, didn't it…It's cute. Maybe when I'm done with Latvia, _you_ can be my new toy."

I really couldn't take this anymore. How dare _anyone_ just do whatever they felt like with a country that had reclaimed their independence? I was angry now, and ready to take it out on Russia. I lunged and hurled a fist at Russia, only for him to catch it flawlessly. "You're too young and too short to be trying to threaten me, little nation. Give yourself another ten years before you even think of attempting something like this. "He laughed through his teeth and bent my wrist backwards. I let out a pained cry because his grip was too tight to break free.

"P—Peter!" Raivis cried helplessly. He stood up too, looking angry, though tears were streaming from his eyes like slow waterfalls. "I—if you…j—just want m—me…that's f—fine…B—but d—don't hurt…Peter…I'll go…"

"Raivis!" I called angrily back at him, trying to flail my way out of Russia grip. "Don't give up!" But Latvia wasn't listening to me. He bowed his head submissively.

Russia let out a small laugh, "Oh, I'm not here to take you back just yet, you silly." He smiled and pushed me away rather violently, letting me fall to the ground, only for me to just get back up on my feet. "The time's not right," He said in a wise tone, "I know it. So I'll leave you two alone for a bit, I just wanted to check on things, and they're just as I planned. I'm not giving up, though," He smiled at Latvia, "Latvia is just my favorite toy to play with. The moment I set him down I want to pick him up again." Russia giggled and took a few steps back, closing the door, and we heard the footsteps of his loud boots clunk loudly down the hallway. His laughter was loud, and we could hear it through the walls and doors. It grew quieter as he walked away, and we could still hear it outside when he closed the front door behind him.

Raivis flopped down on the pile of blankets, devastated and pained. I sat down next to him, a little careful of my right hand that was still hurting from Russia's tight grip."Does he just come over whenever he feels like!?" I shouted angrily.

Raivis nodded and sighed a little, "Y—yes…He usually…does." His tears started up again, and he leaned away from me. I pressed my hand on top of one of his and tightened my grip around it. I leaned in closer, to rest my head on his shoulder. He's experienced so much pain and so much bereavement. It just wasn't fair. I didn't want to see him suffering like this. He faintly squeezed my hand back, trying to hold back the tears that were managing to escape. Raivis really was a crybaby, but now I could see how crying would just become a reflex. I didn't even know half of it, but I knew already from personal experience that living with Russia would be nothing short of hellish—if not Hell itself.

I looked out of the small gap in the window. It was still really dark outside. Russia literally barged in when it really was the middle of the night. I didn't hear anything outside, so I knew it was too early, even for the birds. "C'mon, Raivis," I tried to coax him. "It's still really late, we should go to sleep."

Raivis was quiet for a minute. I guess he was thinking about something, and wasn't really paying attention to me. He stopped crying, but was still sighing sadly. "P—Peter…" He started, turning his head to look over at me. "I…love y—you. A—and…I want to s—stay with you…but you s—see what Russia's like. In a f—few days…I p—plan on surrendering t—to Russia…Officially. He'll t—threaten you and your…parents. You saw him. I don't want…anyone getting h—hurt. I've endured h—him bef—before, so I know w—what he's like. I don't want to f—fight."

I almost wanted to cry, seeing him like this. He's willing to sacrifice himself for others' safety. Well, I guess I'd be the same way…But I didn't want to see him giving up like this. He seemed weak, but only because he had endured Russia for so long. So in a few days…I wouldn't be able to see him. But I…But I…But I had fallen in love with him! How could I not see him? Even if I just wanted to _see_ him I doubted Russia would let me. Compelled with a thousand emotions, I leaned forward and held his head perfectly still with both of my hands and kissed him. I kissed him again. And he kissed me back. I understand now, Raivis. I know. I don't want you to leave, I love you. Don't leave. Don't go. Stay here, we can fight together. Don't give up already. …But you're doing that to protect me. I don't care if I get hurt, I'm indestructible! If I get hurt, I just know it's for Raivis. I'd just be protecting him, and I wouldn't care how injured I became—as long as I knew he'd be safe.

But he was thinking like I was. Even just the little hand injury that seemed to go away after 15 minutes or so made his heart twist. He didn't want me to get hurt, because he'd think it's his fault. So in order for me to leave unharmed, he'd take all of the pain that Russia'd inflict for himself. Why did this have to be so complex? I didn't know what to do for both of us to win. I didn't know what really to say, or what to do. "I really love you, Raivis," I whispered to him. He smiled, but he looked broken.

"I'll still love you, t—too…Peter, I just…think we should p—put this on hold." He smiled timidly, gazing at me, then averted his stare.

I sighed lightly, "Well, we should at least go to sleep now. Look out the little space in the window there. It's probably like three in the morning or something!" I yelled rather grumpily, detesting Russia even more than I already did. Raivis smiled weakly and nodded. He fluffed up the pillow he was once sleeping on and let out a small sigh as he rested his head back on it. I smiled lightly and laughed a bit, remember how he looked in his sleep.

"Nnn, what is it…Peter?" Raivis asked, looking a little confused.

"You just look so calm and mature in your sleep, Raivis," I said playfully, "It's kind of funny."

Raivis blushed a bit and rolled to his side. "Y—you should…s—sleep too."

"Okay~" I said reluctantly with a smile and flopped down too. When I closed my eyes, I felt Raivis's hand reach for mine, and I held it tightly.

---

I had already left Raivis's house, telling him that I loved him and I kissed him goodbye. I decided that I was going to respect him when he surrendered himself to Russia. But I could at least try to tell my parents something. I think Raivis didn't want me going alone. And I didn't plan on that anymore. I hadn't even told them about me and Raivis! Ahh! I knew I should have earlier. I hope they'd understand. I scurried home and opened the door, proudly announcing my arrival. I dumped my stuff off near the door and rushed to find Papa. "Papa!" I cried loudly, "Papa!! There's somethin' I gotta tell you!" I cried. And I nearly ran past the kitchen, but I saw him picking up a few random things and put them away.

"Ah, See'lind, ya're home?" He asked, looking a little surprised, though didn't have much facial expression.

I was a little out of breath from running and screaming, but I shouted in a please voice, "I love Raivis!" Papa blinked a few times and looked at me strangely. "I…I love him a lot," I said in a quieter voice, "But Russia's gunna take him back! He came to bug us in the middle of the night! Please, Papa! Please! Do something to save Raivis! Russia doesn't have him yet, but I don't want him to!"

Papa smiled a bit as he brought a cup of coffee to his lips and sipped it for a moment, keeping his constant calm and composed air about him. "Ah hadda feelin' ya two were a little clo'sa than fre'ns." He took another sip of coffee and I waited for him to speak again. "Bu' if it's Russia, we'shud stay out'f it." He looked serious, and obviously wasn't going to joke with me.

"So we're just going to let Raivis get tortured by Russia!?" I yelled in a very frustrated tone. I always hated it when things didn't go like you planned them in your mind.

"D'on be stupid, See'lind. If Russia's got'dim, then there's na' much we'cn do." He said firmly, glaring at me. "D'on go off by yur'self, ei'tha."

I huffed and clenched my fists. Why did everyone automatically have that attitude towards Russia? He was so unstoppable that no one even tried to stand up to him? That's stupid! No wonder everyone is scared of Russia, because no one bothers to fight back!

"What did you do when Russia was toying with Finland!? Did you leave him on his own? I love Raivis, and I want to save him!" I yelled with all my might, and Papa set down his coffee cup.

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Lol. Strangess goin' on in heeer. Much thanks for reading, please review as well. 8D


	6. Domination

0 w 0 Wow, thanks a lot for all of the reviews, guys. I really appreciate them. This story will probably go on for another chapter or two unless someone can give me even moar epic ideas. I'd really like more ideas to lengthen the story unless you guys think that it's pretty much done. OTL

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I didn't do what I had told him. I decided to leave a few days early, so he wouldn't try to stop me. As much as I knew he wanted to, I didn't want Peter stopping me from submitting myself to Russia. I assumed that he had already told Sweden and Finland about all of this, but I wondered what they'd do… I closed my eyes faintly, remembering all of Peter's smiles and all of his cheery spunk. Ah, we had never roasted marshmallows on my fireplace like he had wanted. I guess we'd have to do that in a few more years or so. I still wanted to spend time with him, but that didn't seem to be an option for me. I wanted to see his smile, hear his laugh. I wanted to feel him hold me close like he did. I had finally gotten the guts to tell Peter that the reason I'd follow him around and the reason I was always even shakier around him was because I was nervous about our then relationship. As corny as it seemed, it was a sort of 'love at first sight' scenario—at least, on my part. I wanted to be his best friend, but I didn't think he'd really treat me like one. But he did.

He treated me very well, and now, we were lovers, in a way. Lovers seemed to be a little too serious as of yet, I didn't even talk to him about _that_. What did we consider ourselves as a pair? We'd admit that we loved each other, but then we still called each other best friends. I was slightly confused myself, but I guess it really didn't matter at this point. Deciding what level our relationship was didn't do anything to fix my problem at hand. I was tidying my house, packing up things in a small bag that I wanted to keep with me. I put things like a few treasured books, a few of my favorite trinkets and other little things into my bag. I dearly hoped that Russia wouldn't root through my things and break whatever he didn't want me to have. He'd already done that once, the last time he took me away.

I had almost decided that I had everything when I approached the door and saw something grey and red out of the corner of my eye. It was Peter's mecha—the one that Japan had made for him. It was sitting on a ledge, lying flat with its plastic arms raised in the air. I picked it up delicately, looking at it with wide eyes. He forgot it here? Hm, how sad. I tucked it away into a secret pocket of the small bag I was carrying. I knew I'd eventually give it back to him, but I wanted to keep it for a while to remember him. There, now I felt like I had everything.

I walked out of my house, locking the door and slipped the key into one of my pockets. I stared at my house for a good while. I'd miss it. The occasionally creaky floorboards that squeaked whenever someone walked on them, the warm fireplace, all of my favorite mugs and cups. I'd miss sleeping in my own bed, and knew that I wouldn't have the same luxuries as I did now. And I was leaving all of that now. So no one else had to get hurt. I sighed and I forced my legs in the direction of Russia's massive house. The path was snowy and rather flat.

I kept walking for quite some time, passing heaps upon heaps of almost ever-present snow that clung to the ground. And then, I approached his house. Russia's house was massive, though it looked a little strange in parts. Neither Estonia nor Lithuania was at Russia's house anymore, so it'd just be him and I in that huge house. I was even more scared of that fact, but I kept forcing myself to continue, to trudge through the snow, knowing that if I did this, no one would have to get hurt because of me. I made this decision for everyone's' sake.

I readied my hand to knock on the door, but it creaked open without me even having to touch it. I blinked nervously, looking around. Ivan showed up immediately, wearing a smile. "Oh, Latvia? You're here? I thought I was going to have to tear you away from that little nation to get you back?" He sighed a little, "It would have been more fun that way, but I'm glad you're here. I missed you." He said sweetly, though I knew he was just being manipulative. "C'mon," He ushered my inside, a hand pushing my back towards the open door. "It's cold outside. I don't want you getting sick already."

I said nothing, resuming my cowering and quivering of fear, not in anxious nervousness. He smiled, "Is it cold outside?" He asked, taking off his scarf and wrapped it around me before I had time to reply. "You can borrow this, it'll keep you warm." He smiled and wandered off somewhere in his house. He had tightly wrapped the scarf around me through, intentionally I thought, and almost just seemed to disappear as I tried to unwrap the tight scarf tied around my neck like some sort of leash and collar. I set the scarf down on a small table near the door and tried to follow Russia's path with my eyes.

He wasn't there. He had disappeared somewhere down this somewhat-endless hall. It got rather dark at the end of it, seeming mysterious and forbidden. I knew I definitely didn't want to go down there, but I felt scared being all alone by myself in Ivan's house. I glanced to the left of me. There wasn't much around other than walls of bookcases and books, but I didn't remember them being there before. Maybe Russia had picked up a new reading hobby or something like that. I glanced to the right, it was the same with the books. Even just in the first room, you could tell that Ivan's house was extremely expansive. It was so spacey and empty that I almost wanted Ivan to come back.

I was alone at home, but it wasn't _nearly _this size. I wandered in closer, trying to see why Ivan had totally abandoned me when he was always disturbing me to come back to him. I finally came back on my own and he ignored me? I guess I still had a chance to run away now that he was lost somewhere in his own house, but I think that would make things worse. "I—Ivan?" I cried out weakly, looking for him. I started to walk down that endless black abyss of a hall that he had walked down, the back of my mind telling me that death was imminent for doing so. "I—Ivan?" I cried out lightly again, advancing further into his home. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that nothing was on his walls. They weren't even painted. It was just blank and nothing.

I rounded a corner of his dark hallway, facing another hallway with other hallways branching out of it. I had forgotten how big Russia's house is! I knew I was just going to get lost. In the darkness, I saw one room with a light on, which I assumed that's where Russia was. I stuck my head through the doorframe, blinking my eyes a bit and called out, "I—Ivan?"

Russia was there, pulling up fresh blankets and sheets on a bed. "Ouh?" He turned around and looked at me, smiling faintly. "This will be your room, Raivis. I just made your bed. Sorry if it seemed like I just disappeared. "He laughed, "I had just forgotten to do this earlier."

"O—oh," I mumbled, nodded my head thankfully. Maybe Russia had grown kinder? Last time I was here, he made me sleep in the same room with him. I assumed it was because he was so paranoid I'd leave that he needed to keep an eye on me constantly. Maybe he trusted me more now? Maybe living with Russia wouldn't be that bad this time around. I hoped it wouldn't be. I desperately hoped. "T—thank…you." I muttered, looking up and smiled for just a second. He was smiling differently now. I think it was an actual smile, originating from happiness.

"Aaah!" He muttered enthusiastically, rushing up to me and tightly embraced me. "I missed your cute expressions. Why'd you have to rebel? I love you so much." He nuzzled me. I blushed a little and didn't really respond. He paused; releasing me though still had his hands on my shoulders. "Something wrong? You haven't said much…"

"I…u—uh…!" I panicked for a moment, and then once I averted my gaze I finally let out, "It's just that…you seem…t—to have…changed." Now that I looked at it, it appeared as though Ivan had taken his time in preparing a bed for me. It wasn't lavish, but it was a nice bed with two fluffy pillows at its head and several thick quilts on top. Well, at least I wouldn't have to get cold…

He smiled and said, "I haven't." He said with a nod, "It must be your imagination!"

"…Oh…" I let out uncomfortably, and Russia looked like he had something to say.

"Why don't I make us something to drink!" Russia smiled and left the room. "I'll be out in the kitchen. If you need anything, you can just look for another light."

"O—okay…" I muttered with a nod as he left my room and closed the door behind him. I blinked a few times, wandering over to what would now be my bed. I sat down and let out a sigh. Had Russia really changed, or was it all just a temporary act? I wanted to believe that he'd changed, but after he had stormed in yesterday, he had just reverted back to his old ways. I closed my eyes for a moment, flopping down on the bed entirely, resting my head on the pillows. So… I would be with Russia now? I would be a part of Russia now? Did I even have a right to consider myself 'Latvia' anymore, or was I just 'Russian Territory'?

Memories of Peter floated into my mind, remember all of the fun I had being an independent country. I don't think I'd be able to see him like I could then. I could visit him or call him whenever I wanted, but I didn't. I was reluctant to call anyone for help, though I wanted it. I wanted to depend on someone, but I didn't want them to get hurt. I was always so confused with myself and what I wanted. My thoughts and actions never really corresponded with each other, making me even more confused in the first place. So in order to make sure that no one had to get hurt because of my stupidity; I'd have to bear the pain by myself. Alone.

"Don't give up just yet!" I heard Peter's voice in my head. He was always cheering me on, always thinking of another way to do things and he'd never give up. He was very stubborn and resourceful, and almost always had a plan B. I wouldn't have that anymore. I'd just have depend on myself now, which I knew would be difficult. My heart throbbed differently when I remembered his face. So I still loved him? I wondered how long it would be before I'd see him again. I started crying again, only because I missed him so much, and because I was so scared. So I sat up and sniffled, burying my face into my hands, ashamed of almost all I've done. This whole thing started because I had fallen in love with Peter. If I hadn't…then none of this…

What am I saying? I shouldn't be regretting all of the time I spent with Peter, even if it wasn't a whole lot. I was really glad that he didn't reject me—even just remembering that made my heart flutter. I thought he was far too young to really understand me…Three years can be a big difference at times…But I guess I was just trying to undermine him. He loved me, and I couldn't give up on that. He's right, I'm always giving up all the time. I can't run away, but I don't have to cringe when Ivan strikes.

I tried to hold back my tears and I had noted that Ivan had brought my bag to this room. I wandered over and opened it, discovering that all I had put in went undisturbed. I felt relieved and pulled out a hard-back book—my journal. It had a few entries, but not many. I never really wrote in it much before hand, but I thought that I should write down my time at least. It'd give me something to do. I fished around in my bag for a pen, and sat down in the chair and rested my arms on the small table in the other corner of the room. I pressed the pen to the yellowish paper and started writing.

_Dear Peter,_ (I thought it'd be better addressing my journal like I was talking to Peter—It'd be easier for me, at least.)

_I submitted myself to Russia today. It doesn't seem all that bad this time, I think. I haven't been over very long, but already he seems to have changed. He prepared a room just for me and it has a nice bed and a cute little desk, but not much else. Last time I was here, I had to sleep in the same room because he was paranoid I'd run away. He said something about making some hot drink or something, so he's not here right now. I mean, he's still in the house, but his house is so colossal I just know I'm going to get lost in it sometimes. Ivan seems to have added lots of bookcases to his house. They weren't their last time, either. I desperately hope that he's changed. It'll make this whole thing much easier. But I know hoping isn't going to do anything for me. _

_I miss you Peter, I just want to tell you that. Already, I'm thinking of you and I want to see you. But I'm going to stay with Ivan until he gets tired of me. So please wait for me. _

_Love, _

_Raivis._

At that moment, the door to my room opened and I scrambled to put away the pen and journal. "Latvia~," Ivan called out, poking his head through the doorway and smiled, "What's taking you so long? Come out to the kitchen already! Your drink's going to get cold."

I nodded and got up out of my seat to go and follow him, seeing as he'd only bug me more if I hadn't done anything. He seemed to be waiting for me to follow. If I hadn't gotten up at that moment, things would have gotten a little awkward. I started to follow him down the hall and he reached back to hold my hand. I reflexively pulled away, but he probably would have gotten angry if I didn't. I didn't want to experience Russia's fury just yet. I forgot how massive he was compared to my fragility. His hands were easily twice the size of mine. He looked back and smiled at me, his amethyst eyes glowing in the darkness of his house. "I'm glad you're back." He said softly to me. I didn't say anything to reply.

He led me to the kitchen, where he had a tray and two steaming mugs sitting on top. He pulled up his and gave the remaining mug to me. "It's just hot chocolate, "He told me with a smile. He started sipping away, showing me that I could trust him. I took the white mug from his hands and held it gingerly, it was still really hot. I tried to subtly sniff it to see if he had put any sort of drug in it. I didn't really smell anything unusual, so I took a small sip. At first, I tasted genuine hot chocolate, and it was tasty despite being at a very high temperature. The aftertaste of something hot and burning scoured my throat. I coughed and gagged a few times, opening my mouth to say, "W—what'dyou put _in_ this?" I asked weakly.

"Vodka," He smiled, taking another avid sip. "Do you not like it?" He looked a little worried this time, maybe a little hurt that I was criticizing him. I panicked when he made that face, forcing myself to take another sip so we wouldn't get angry. I coughed and sputtered again. How does he drink this stuff so easily?! It hurts… "I…l—like…it." I managed.

"Good!" He smiled and kissed my cheek. "That's relieving, you're not cold anymore."

I blushed lightly but said nothing.

----

Most of the day passed. Ivan had let me read books and had actually fed me regularly this time. My actions would be restricted, but if I was going to have to be forced into this routine every day, I wouldn't mind it as much. I was reading one of the books I had found on the shelf in the first room. It was all in Russian, so I really didn't understand a whole lot, but I could still look at the words to occupy my time. Night was rolling in and the sun had set hours ago. It was even darker now than in the daytime, where the sun's light reflected off of all the white snow.

"Latvia!" Ivan strolled in with a smile, "I think you should go to bed now, okay? It's getting pretty late…"

"Oh…o—okay," I agreed with him and closed the book, setting down the book on a nearby table. I stood up to walk down the hall, and Ivan started following me. I was walking rather quickly, but trying to make it look subtle as I did _not_ trust Ivan when he was behind me. I started to approach my room, but the door was closed, and Ivan had a large hand clamped tightly around my wrist.

"Not this room, Raivis," He smiled wickedly, and pulled me across the hallway and into the room opposite mine—which I assumed was his room. He pushed me into the room and pulled out something in his pocket, which he quickly inserted into the door, letting it emit a loud clicking sound. "I just locked the door," He informed me and slipped the key into his coat. He smiled and started to unbutton his coat. I was cringing, cowering on the floor. I knew my fate. He hadn't changed, he was telling the truth! Oh…I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. My life could never have evened out. It was just going to be a vicious cycle all my life.

Ivan smirked and pulled me to his bed, where I tried to squirm and flee and cry. I was thrashing and screaming, only for Ivan to look at me with an unimpressed expression. "What's wrong, Raivis?" He breathed on me, our noses touching. "You slept with that little nation. Now you're going to sleep with me."

But it wasn't like that! I wanted to scream at him. Peter was with me just for protection and so I could feel safe. It wasn't…anything like _this. _Ivan pressed himself against me, holding me tightly so I couldn't try to wriggle free. His lips pressed against mine numerous times, and then he started to tear off my clothes. I was feeling breathless and trapped.

_Peter…_ My mind whispered faintly.

_Peter…Where are you when Ivan is violating me…?_

With his arms holding my small frame so tightly it made breathing difficult, he had forced me to become one with Russia.

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Oh emo day. OTL Yeah. Uhm. Sadness chapter. I plan on having the next chapter be in Peter's POV about how he misses Raivis etc. Have any ideas to make the story keep going? Thanks for reading and reviewing, guys~ ;]


	7. Temptation

Balls. OTL Sorry it's taking me so long guys, I had a lot to do yesterday and I've been drawing lots of stuff for my dA account! xD (Contact me if you have one~ ;3 ) Thank you so much for reading guys, I've just been a failure to you all.

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I sat on my bed, staring up at the ceiling with wide eyes. Raivis had told me not to come over, and not to call him. That had been a few days ago. I hadn't done so because I wanted to respect him, but I just _really_ wanted to see him. He didn't call me or tell me anything, so I didn't even know if he was over at Russia's yet. I told Papa, who told Finland, but they just said they'd think of something. …Yeah. They didn't seem to be all that surprised that I said I loved Raivis, either. At least, Papa wasn't. I saw Finland was a little surprised, but smiled. Too bad I didn't tell them earlier. Maybe things would have been different if I had said anything at all earlier.

I sat up, pushing myself off of my bed and picked up the phone, my finger hovering over the number panel to punch in Raivis's number. "Peter, please don't call me either, okay?" I could hear his voice force out in a worried tone as I had left his house a few days ago. I had promised I wouldn't, but I really wanted to know! I wanted to hear his voice. So giving in, my right index finger started tapping the familiar numbers in the correct sequence that would reach Raivis's home phone. I pressed the phone to my ear and heard it ring a few times. It rang a few more times. And a few more times. Raivis's phone was obviously so old that he didn't have any answering machine or anything, so it'd just keep ringing. I honestly waited several minutes for him to pick up, hearing his voice ring out "Don't call" in my head with each pausing moment of silence. "D—don't call, Peter," …Ring… "Peter, don't," …Ring…He kept warning me but I wasn't paying attention.

Devastated, I hung up the phone. Two things could have happened: He was already with Russia, or he was too scared to pick up the phone. I had to go see for myself. I prayed he was at home, cowering in some corner, crying his eyes out. Too scared to even pick up a phone. It was still late morning, so I threw on some clothes and left my pajamas in a heap on the floor. Finland would scold me later about this, but I could care less. My pajamas could lie on the floor for another year if I had enough time to talk to Raivis again. I quickly tromped down the stairs, bounding off the last step and took off in a running leap. I heard Finland call after me, probably asking where I was headed to in such a hurry, but I didn't respond, and flew out the door. I remembered how to get to Latvia's house. It was so easy. I followed the same paths and jumped over the same familiar obstacles—like a rock in the way.

By this time, I was already huffing and puffing, but I forced myself to keep going. I had respected him enough to set aside my desire to see him for a few days, but now it had all just pooled up and I knew I _needed_ to see him. I needed to, I needed to. I saw his house in the distance, pushing myself even more to get to it sooner. I stumbled upon his door, quite out of breath for my frantic sprint. I looked at his door, there weren't any recently made markings, but when I twisted the golden doorknob, it had opened right to me. The door stepped aside for me to enter, and I did, still feeling breathless. Raivis's house was cold, like no one had been here in, well—days. I wandered in further, noting that the fireplace was nothing but ashes. There weren't any logs anywhere near it and every room seemed utterly cold. I wandered passed that room and into his kitchen, where there was a window and the light shone through. His kitchen seemed pale and stark. All of the cups were put away; the fridge was completely empty when I poked my head in to check if there was anything in it at all. Everything in his house was clean, empty, or unused. I blinked several times, mentally checking off the rooms in his house.

I walked down his hallway, hoping that he was perhaps in his bedroom. "Raivis?" I called out weakly, feeling myself start to tear up. "R—Raivis? Are you there?" There was no reply, and I pushed open the thin door to his room. There, on the floor, was Raivis, looking up at me with tear-streaming eyes. I started crying too, and only knelt down to him and realized that it was just my imagination. My expression dimmed and I stood up, sniffling. That was the same expression he wore when Russia came—wasn't it? Why did I have to see that expression? Why couldn't I see him sleeping peacefully in his bed over there? Even if it _was_ just my imagination, why did he have to look so scared? Is it…Is it because I'm being selfish, like Russia? But…But Raivis and I loved each other. I wasn't just thoughtlessly doing whatever I wanted! I was just trying to help him. I only was trying to help…

I walked further into his room, noting that all of the sheets and pillows were pulled off of the bed, leaving just an abandoned mattress on the bed frame. I opened the closet on the right, revealing that all of the bedding things were in there, and completely clean and unused. It seemed as though Raivis has tidied up his house in the same manner that people clean up their hotel room before leaving. I let out the tears I had been trying to hold back. So he was already gone. He left without telling me. Why did you have to do that? I sat down on the bare mattress and just cried. I sobbed quietly, feeling dismal that he was gone now. The only way he'd come back is if Papa and Finland could do something. So really, I wasn't helping anyone.

Who knew what Raivis was feeling right now. Probably nothing what I am right now. I hardly knew Russia, but I knew that Latvia didn't like living with him. I didn't bother wiping the tears away as I left, carefully closing the battered door to the small house belonging to the country of Latvia. I wasn't going to be as stupid to go to Russia's house all by myself, but I would if it was my last resort. Now, my plan was to convince Papa and Finland into helping me. They had to! Finland should know how bad Russia is and want to help! At least, I wanted it to work that way. I wanted them all to help me.

I trudged home, opening the door slowly and closed it behind me. "P—Peter!?" Finland cried excitedly, rushing up to me. "What happened, are you hurt?" He probably got frantic when he saw me crying.

I looked up at him, my eyes burning from crying so much."Latvia belongs to Russia now. I went to his house to see if he was just being scared or something, but he's not there!"

Finland's worried expression dimmed and he placed a hand on my shoulder. "I want to go save him!" I told Finland. "I want to go rescue him from Russia. But I can't, by myself. You and Papa need to help me!"

I could see Finland was stumbling over his words, "But…Peter, if we try to take Latvia back…then Russia just do the same."

"But!" I persisted, "What did you do when you were being controlled by that Denmark guy or whatever? You ran away! But you fled with Papa, so you had each other! But Russia only wants Raivis, and Raivis won't run away by himself. We need to get him out! Raivis shouldn't have to deal with him because stupid Russia can't make any real friends!"

Finland spoke in a soft voice; I assumed he was remembering how he fled with Papa. "I know that seems like a good plan in your head, but it won't be that easy. Russia has been doing this to Latvia for a long time, Peter."

"But we have to fight back to make him stop!" I protested, crying again. Why wasn't anyone going to listen to me?

"This isn't time for a fight, Peter," Finland said to me seriously, his eyes solid and unyielding. "We're not going to get in a fight for this, Peter. Russia will probably let him go in a few years, and then you can see him again. A fight against Russia won't make anything better."

I scrunched up my face and tightened my fists, and Finland removed his hands from my shoulders. Why did no one listen to me!? Why did everyone think that the way I went about things was 'stupid' or 'wrong'!? I stomped loudly and angrily as I ascended the stairs to my room. I opened the door and slammed it, fuming angrily. I jumped onto my bed, burying my face into my pillows. I tried to think of things I could do for him. If I ran over to Russia's house to try to get Raivis back, I'd probably get caught by Russia, and then Papa and Finland would have to get me back. They probably wouldn't get Raivis back, and so other than seeing him for just a bit, that plan would be stupid and useless. Finland and Papa didn't seem too eager to help me get Raivis back, so then, that left the last option—waiting.

So I'd have to wait a few years for him to be independent again? I'd have to wait a few years before seeing him again? I didn't think I could do that. How could he be so close to me, but I couldn't do anything to help him? Why couldn't I protect him? I loved him, and every day I didn't see him, I just wanted to see him more. I just wallowed in my room for hours. I didn't come out, and I didn't want to. I didn't want to wait for Raivis because I wanted to see him _now_.

I heard a knock on my door hours after I had slammed it and Papa entered, closing it quietly behind him. "'S'dinner t'me, See'lind."

"I'm not hungry," I said, turning away from him. I didn't want to eat. I didn't want to think of what was happening to Raivis at this very moment. How was Russia treating him? Probably yelling at him and abusing him or something like that. I remembered the terrified look I saw on his face as I had walked into his room this morning. The same one he wore when Russia barged into his room in the middle of the night. He wore that face when Russia was around? I had never seen Raivis grimace like that. So he dreaded Russia above all things. As I thought about that, my own wants and desires seemed so stupid compared to his. He only wanted freedom.

I heard Papa shuffle towards me, "A'r ya jus' gunna stay'in here tha' whole t'me?"

I pondered this for a moment. Maybe I would. I felt Papa's hand on the shoulder nearest him. "Lyin' ar'nd isn't gunna help La'via. When'yur old'r, you'll rea'liz, that a y'r is nothin'. We 'afta wait'fer all sortsa thins. You'shd be tryin' ta get stron'er. If ya do, when Rush'a releas'z 'im, you'll be able'ta protect'im the next t'me ar'nd."

Papa did have a point. But waiting would be so painful. I didn't even know how long I'd be waiting. Years, I imagined. But how many years? How long would I have to wait for Russia to get tired of Raivis and abandon him? I wouldn't be able to hear from him, wouldn't be able to see him or know anything about what was happening to him. But I'd have to keep waiting, huh?

"Okay," I muttered in response to Papa, and he tapped my shoulder once as he left my room, closing the door quietly. None of my 'Rescue-Raivis' plans would work, and my parents already knew that beforehand. They weren't trying to be mean or cruel towards me or anything like that; they just knew that they couldn't really do anything at this point.

And neither could I. I couldn't do anything for him right now other than think of him. I remembered his soft, kind smile. What had all seemed so sudden a few weeks ago changed. I wished that we had both been secretly in love with each other, and not just him in love with me. So that way, when he confessed in a shout, we'd have understood each other more. Why did I have to be so slow and stupid all the time?

I wish I was stronger.

There was a phone in my room, and it rung faintly. I sprung up, blinking at it. It rang again. So…it wasn't my imagination. I crawled towards it and picked it up gingerly, "Hello?" I said into the phone's speaker, waiting for the caller to respond. "Ah, P—Peter!" It was Raivis. "I h—have to m—make this c—call q—quick—ly b—because Ivan's…o—out of th—the house…B—but I w—wanted to tell y—you t—that I'm okay…D—don't try to c—come an—and get me…" He started crying now, though I could still understand him. "J—just w—wait f—for me…"

"Raivis!" I exclaimed, "I'll wait too. I told myself I'd have to wait. I'll wait to see you. I love you. I really, really love you, Raivis."

I could hear Raivis's smile through his voice, though he was still crying. "I—I'm…glad. I'll t—try to c—call when—whenever Iv—Ivan's out of th—the house…B—but don't c—come over! A—and d—don't call! J—just…w—wait…for me."

"I will," I replied softly. And Raivis hung up the phone.

____

BAW. These two are cute. OTL Lol, slightly emo angst time. DON'T WORRY. THIS IS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER. The next chapter (8th) will be the final chapter, most likely. Thank you for all of your support!! ^ ^


	8. Reunited

*sob* Thank you so much for giving me all of these ideas and wonderful feedback! u I'm very happy you all like this story so much, and I'm sad to say it, but this is the last chapter. I will/would write more LatSea when I get more ideas, so if you really like what I write, help me out. ;D Thank you all so much~

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It had been a little over four years since I had last seen Raivis. He called me at least once a month, so it wasn't like I was completely out of touch with him, but I hadn't seen his face for four long years. I hadn't seen his smile, and I hadn't held him or touched him in so long. I had only heard his voice. But that was enough. His messages were always short, because they were made whenever Ivan was out of the house, but whatever he said was important to me. I got to hear his laughs, and I got to hear his tears as sometimes he just called me and cried. I missed him terribly, but at least we were able to talk to each other.

I was sixteen now, and he was nineteen. Still, he was older than me. I hadn't caught up; he'd always be ahead of me a little—just by three years. I still lived with my adoptive parents—Sweden and Finland, and Raivis was still living with Russia. He had managed to tell me bits and pieces of what had happened to him, and events of the previous invasion as well. Raivis had been beaten and battered, though was determined enough to continue enduring Russia's torment in order to taste independence again. I knew it was painful for him, but he told me what had happened to him. He had told me that Russia was a sadistic masochist, but I already knew that. It just sounded different coming from his mouth.

I still loved him, and I knew he still loved me. He told me that Russia had caught him on the phone once, and sprained his ankle because of it. That troubled me, but I could hear Raivis's smile through his voice and told me not to worry. "I—Ivan won't let me out of the house, s—so a sprained ankle isn't much of a problem. All I do all day is read and s—sleep, an—anyway." But that was a few months ago. From his most recent call, two weeks ago, Raivis had been okay. He told me that Russia had been ignoring him, and that he finally might be letting up. But he wasn't exactly sure. He said that Russia was unpredictable, and made expected moves just to confuse his victim further.

As Papa had told me, I grew up to be a stronger nation! I still am growing, but I'm a lot bigger now than I was then. I wonder how much Raivis has grown. I haven't seen him in forever, I wonder if he'll even recognize me… I waited patiently by the beige-colored phone in my room, hoping that any second, it'd be ringing, and I'd pick it up, and it'd be Raivis. But the phone wasn't ringing. It was quiet, sleeping like a rock. It made no sound, and no movement, all of its lights were off. The door to my room clicked open and Finland was there—smiling. "You should go outside!" He said to me in a cheerful tone, extremely giddy for some reason. "It's a nice day out, and it's not good for you to be cooped up like this all the time."

I eyed the phone for a long moment, but stood up, and walked towards the door. "Alright," I agreed. I shuffled downstairs, noticing from the kitchen window that it really _was_ a nice day. The sun practically just lit up the entire kitchen in a soft yellow glow. I smiled to myself, and walked out of the door, deciding to visit Raivis's empty house just because. I had done so a few times, but didn't make it a special routine or anything like that. I just…really liked his house, even if there wasn't anyone living in it. It was rather empty now, and still retained its cold atmosphere that I felt when I first entered it after he had left. His things were all dusty, and something were sun-bleached. But I had tried to keep it a little in order, just to make sure his house wasn't a total mess when he came back.

I closed the door behind me and started on my way, sighing a little bit. Raivis wouldn't be there. He hadn't been home in four years. I wondered what that felt like. I still wanted to rescue him, but at this point, I just wanted to listen to whatever Raivis said to me. If he had told me that sugar was infested with nasty parasites, I probably would have believed him. Finland says I have matured a lot, but I don't really think so… I'm still Peter Kirkland—I'm still Sealand, and I'm going to be the greatest nation!

I walked down the path that I would whenever I went over to his house. A small, winding little path. It was a little uneven, some spaces were wide, and others were narrow, but that didn't make any difference because I still reached his house. I walked for a few minutes, thinking about how quickly those four years seemed to pass. Papa was right, if you try not to notice it, you blink and time gets away from you. I stopped counting every minute, and suddenly a month passed. One less month to spend agonizing over how I haven't seen Raivis in ages. I looked up, and suddenly Raivis's empty house jumped out in front of me. I blinked, oh right, it had been quite a while since I had last been here…

I pushed the door aside and called out into the darkness of his house, "Hello?" What was I doing? I knew no one was here, I guess it was just a response for walking into someone's house. I closed the door behind me, looking at all of the things that had gone untouched for four years. The ashes in the fireplace were gross, but I hadn't bothered to do anything about them because I had no idea how! I guessed that if I had tried, I would have made a bigger mess…I hate cleaning things up… But I looked around, half expecting to see someone in there. But there wasn't. I'm just getting my hopes up. I advanced further into his tiny house, already deciding that I'd open the window to his musty-smelling house to let in some fresh air.

I advanced down the hallway, listening to the creaks that the floor made as I walked on top of it. The door to Raivis's bedroom at the end of the hall was already half-open, so I pushed it open all the way, and let myself in. The thick curtain hung directly in front of the window, so naturally his room was very dark. I pushed aside the burgundy curtains and was nearly blinded by the light of the sun. I had to shield my eyes and winced a bit, not expecting to see that intensity from this side of the house. I pushed that thought out of my mind as I heard something in the closet rattle.

I froze, gawking at the closet strangely. It was closed, just as I had left it. Raivis had a sort of walk-in closet with two sliding doors that could overlap each other. The only thing it had inside of it was bed sheets and blankets and the like. But maybe a stray cat or something wandered in and got trapped. But…if that happened, why didn't I hear any meowing? Maybe it wasn't a cat. I advanced further, still a little cautious, but too curious to find out what was inside.

I pushed the door open, only to blink and find myself on the floor. I had fallen, pushed over by some sort of force. W—what had just happened? Raivis was there, hugging me. "S—surprise!" He called in his quiet voice, smiling and laughing like crazy. I sat up abruptly, blinking, still awestruck. "R—Raivis!?" I squawked, smiling widely. He had been hiding in the closet, waiting for me? I didn't expect him to jump out like that, either…

"Russia got tired of me after all. He l—let me go." He wrapped his arms around my torso, his fingers sliding up my spine. "Ehhe…" He smiled nervously, "Y—you've gotten so big. Y—you grew a lot." His cheeks were glowing red.

"W—why were you in the closet, though?" I asked curiously, too curious _not_ to ask why he knew I'd come over.

"Russia g—got angry in the m—middle of the night and told me to leave, so I w—waited until morning and I talked to Finland. We set up a little s--surprise plan."

So that's why he waited at the door to my room. He was expecting me to go to Raivis's house out of loneliness and run into him there. Well, they definitely predicted my moves, correctly.

As we sat on the floor of his room, I held him tightly to me. Raivis had grown a little, but it didn't look like much had changed other than his stutter was a little better. We had been reunited after four years. A separation had actually been better, I thought. If a separation didn't strengthen a relationship, it'd only break it. But ours had been intensified. I kissed him several times, so happy to see him after 1,461 days of severance. The emotions and passion had welled up so much I just wanted to hold him for a solid week. Had it really been that long? Over a thousand days of waiting. I nuzzled against him, remembering his smell. I hadn't really noticed his particular smell before. It was nice. Everyone had a scent. You could sniff your own clothes and say to yourself, 'So, that's how I smell?' It even sounded stupid in my mind, but Raivis smelled warm. He smelled like a mysterious old book, the pungent smell wafting up into your nostrils as you started to flip through the pages. I could feel his heartbeat as it radiated through him, his fingertips digging into the back of my ribcage with a longing so strong it was heartbreaking.

As I had been waiting in the comfort of my own home, Raivis was waiting to be released. Each day tougher and more memorable than the previous. Dwelling solely on the day's events as sleep eluded you. Our noses were touching, one of my hands on the back of his neck. "Will Russia want you again now that you're mine?" One of the corners of my mouth was upturned into a smirk, and a let out a confident chuckle.

He flushed again and smiled, still not looking me directly in the eyes. "I…d—don't know…" He muttered. "Ivan…seems to repeat himself…a lot."

"Now this time will be different," I whispered softly. "I'm a stronger nation now. I'll be a huge threat to Russia if he hurts you again." I held him a little tighter, resulting in a small cough from Raivis.

"P—Peter!" He cried faintly, squirming a bit. "Don't hold me so t—tight…! You're hurting me."

"Ah…sorry," I smiled, releasing. I stood up, then helped him to his feet. I was taller than him now. I used to be a few inches shorter. I guess I really had grown. He noticed this too, and he smiled faintly. "I dreamed…of t—this day." He said quietly, reaching towards my hand, and our palms touched. His fingers curling around mine.

I smiled back, laughing slightly. "Why did it sound like you thought this'd never happen? Of course it would! I really love you, Raivis. And I'll still love you." I faintly kissed the side of his forehead, insanely infatuated with him now that he was back. I wanted to spend every moment with him now that he was here. Now that I could see him. Now that I could touch him. Now that I could hold his hand, and kiss him however many times I wanted.

He laughed lightly, squeezing my hand. "I just didn't…k—know what was g—going to happen to me…I had no idea how l—long I was…g—going to l—live like that. I was…just a—afraid I'd never s—see you again, Peter."

"At least you didn't give up." I smiled. "Oh," I thought of something that would be good, "D'you want to go on a walk with me? I doubt you've been out much, and it's perfect weather!"

Raivis nodded and voiced a small, "Okay."

"I'll help you clean up your house when we're done. There's a lot of dust in places. Sorry I didn't do anything about it earlier…I—"

"It's fine," Raivis said. "Let's go on that walk."

I smiled and nodded, pulling his hand closer as we walked out of his house. It felt nice, his hand carefully wedged in mine, fingers interlaced. We stepped out onto the same path that I had taken coming here. "Where should we go?" I asked him, turning to look at his face. He still retained his timid personality, but his facial expression had relaxed—like how I saw him sleeping. He had a certain confidence now, though still was cautious and worrying. He shrugged his shoulders, "I don't care. Pick for me."

"Then we'll go this way!" I pointed in the first direction that came to mind, and we started walking. Raivis's walk was odd, taking small steps as he transferred his balance from left to right, almost seeming like a child learning how to walk. He leaned against me for balance. I laughed a little, and he looked slightly offended. "R—Russia did horrible t—things to me! D—don't criticize the w—way I walk just because I…I'm n—not used to outside!"

"I'm not," I said with a smile, though my tone was serious in an optimistic manner. "I was just thinking it's cute. I guess you have changed a lot. But I still love you~"

Raivis smiled, continuing to walk with me in the random direction that I chose. We started walking into a forest, with lots of trees and all smelled strongly of pine. We talked about stupid little things. Raivis told me that he had the mecha that Japan had made for me. I had completely forgotten about that thing. But Raivis told me that he liked it a lot because it reminded him of me. He told me about the journal that he kept, just to kill time, and that he wanted me to read it. "It's d—difficult to…to talk about…B—but I w—want you t—to read it!" He urged me, tugging on my arm. He told me that they were addressed to me, anyway, though he never had imagined them being read by me. I decided I would read them, just because he wanted me to.

I told him about all the little stupid things I did because I was bored and alone. Raivis really was one of the only countries closest to my age, and when he was gone, I noticed that I didn't really have anything to do. I even resorted to bugging Arthur forever, though he's still a jerk and just told me how 'annoying' I was being, and that I should go home. I told him about all of the random daily events that reminded me of him as I lived a regular life.

We were having a good time, being reunited with one another. The same way you find an old possession that had been hidden in some location that you managed to find only _after_ cleaning something out. You become attached to whatever you find, and it becomes important to you again, like it had been previously. "Oh…uhm…" Raivis started, looking quite hesitant as he turned to face me. "Since…since we obviously u—unders—stand each other now…W—what would we consider ourselves?"

"Consider ourselves?" I mimicked, sounding a little confused.

He nodded, "Uh…yeah…What am I to you?"

"The one I love," I replied, only realizing how cheesy and clichéd I sounded after I had replied. If only there were a more original title I could have chosen, but I couldn't really seem to come up with anything that sounded remarkable.

"T—that's not w—what I mean…" He muttered, "Are we…lovers?" He looked up at me, soft lavender eyes round and wide. I saw my own expression in his pupil, and tried to correct it. Lovers sounded a little serious. But…I didn't know. I really hadn't thought about it yet. I'm slow…'Boyfriends' didn't sound the greatest. Papa called Finland his 'wife', though he objected. But I couldn't really think of anything else to say, because we were obviously a great deal more than 'best friends'. I nodded, "Yep, I guess we are."

I felt eyes coming from somewhere. Somewhere in this forest. I span around, feeling suspicious. There was a figure hiding behind a tree trunk, only about half of him visible. I could tell by the scarf tail that it was Russia, and Raivis immediately ducked behind me. If he wanted Raivis back, I could take him now…

Though Russia didn't seem to be making any motions of advancing. I heard him mumble something under his breath, and then saw him turn around slightly, so that only his profile was visible. "How did you get him to love you, little nation?" He asked me, his voice sounding defeated. He didn't look like he was anywhere near in a fighting mood. "How did you get him to accept you? I've tried so hard…"

Raivis was looking away, squeezing his eyes shut. "A loving relationship can't be one-sided, Russia. You're too overpowering." I said in a loud tone, making sure he could hear me.

Russia blinked, now looking spacey. "That's what everyone says…But how do I know what to do when I've only been 'overpowering'?"

How could I instruct him? What would I do? What would I say? I had no idea what I was doing. It didn't sound so much like he was trying to get Raivis back as he was genuinely trying to make friends of his own. _Friends_—not victims or captives. "Don't force anyone to do anything," I tried to make sense despite my mind blanking on me. "If they resist, stop. If they say 'no', listen. Listen to what other people want. It's difficult, sometimes, but you have to in order to get along."

After I had finished talking, I realized that he wasn't there anymore. Was it just my imagination? No, Raivis was still cowering. I wondered if he had just slipped behind a tree trunk, but it wasn't much use trying to look around with Raivis's old reflexes acting up. I held him tighter, "Let's go back to my house. I bet Finland has already made lunch."

"G—good…" Raivis muttered, wiping away a few tears that had managed to leak out. "I'm…k—kind of hungry…"

"Me too," I smiled as we started to walk out of the forest. I reflexively turned around and saw Ivan against a tree trunk, smiling. It wasn't a strange smile. It was only strange in the sense that it wasn't hostile.

Raivis altered my attention, leaning closer. "I—I'm sorry I…seem so…p—pathetic…But I…I want you to protect me. I want to…rely on you."

"I'm glad," I smiled, kissing his cheek again. "I want to protect you."

____

Tell me if it had a crappy ending 'cause I rarely end things. O – o Thank you all who have read my story through and thank you all who reviewed!! You have no idea how happy I am to see people enjoying my work~ C:

~ Toxi


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